I ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT BOB

Amid all the itchy bum smelly finger comments,taunts about how abnormally big someone's head is and all that it occured to me that going to the toilet at that time wouldnt be such a bad idea, hell if it would relieve me of an itchy bum which as we all know is caused by issues i would rather not discuss publicly but related to or not to going to the toilet(and what you do thereafter if you do)it would be the best of ideas.But if going to the toilet was a good idea then beating up bob was an even better one,it did not involve escaping,it would give me lasting respect and best of all i would get to watch bob in pain and believe me nothing could give me greater pleasure. In my head it was all easy ,just walk up to him taunt him a bit make him livid and make him come after you,then my skill(gained from countless hours of research not really for the knowledge)would at last be put to test,a couple of hard blows to the right places, evasive manouvers such that i couldnt get hurt and a bit of willpower to finish it off.I would be king i almost shouted out and then thoughts of the wonderful life i would have after came in torrents-the chicken wings each one of us was required to give bob on selected days of the week would be all mine,i would not have to go to school just as bob didn't,i would go live in that old house at the end of the street where it was said that bob lived but none had ever seen him go in or out(in fact he never even talked about it)and if it meant running away from home then let it be i mean had'nt bob done the same?isn't that why he lived in that old house all by himself with all the freedom and chicken wings he could ever want and a stereo system with sick bass(all speculation nothing confirmed)It was a while later that i awoke so to speak from my dream to find all eyes on me.Later on in hospital all bandaged up and almost dying i then thought how stupid of me it was to voice out my thoughts in such company and how incredibly strong bob was and that all the skill in the world would never help me against a beast like him.I also knew that i would never be part of the fold again,it was an abomination to blaspheme bob(a word which i do not know the meaning to but what i did falls under it i was told) Some time later bob actually did die and most fingers pointed at me(all speculation no proof)but it was sort of a good thing as i realized that most of us hated bob some more than me in fact and one so much that he had actually killed him.We never did find out who it was but since everyone was happy and no one seemed really intent on avenging bob's murder i was happy to let the accusing finger point at me.It turns out that most of these stories do have a happy ending and mine definetly does.Bob's death had so instilled fear in all of us and the guy thought responsible for it was the object of that fear.You can guess what happened next but i'll still say it-i got the house despite some saying that the spirit of bob still lived there,i got a double portion of chicken wings,i quit school and inspired many others too and lastly i got that beautiful girl i had been eyeing and who would never have given me a second glance before.Twenty years later and nothing has changed i only got older and got another woman younger and more beautiful.

ALTER EGO

DAVE- much as it does not hurt me to admit that i am an underachieving young man who also has the most difficult time sticking to societal conventions i have to admit that when such affects family it is time to draw the line .2012 will not just be business it will be business with pleasure ,only more pain in it and more pleasure at the end of it and on top of that i have to find a couple of new hobbies reduce time spent on the internet ,write more(a lot lot more)eat out a bit more(just a bit),try to conform to "rules and regulations" at least for the sake of my beloved mum try to form and maintain a steady relationship for once stop speaking in circles and try to listen some more to that awesome music ED introduced me to last year,trance and house i think, i like house more but trance isnt that awful infact it is a lot better than techno,im surprised someone would even call that music ED- I have to say that calculus isnt as hard as i thought only a lot more boring and unapplicable but on to more important issues,have you heard of arty, the guy(or is it kid )is AWESOME!!!!!! Old cats such deadmau5 better take care(but in all seriousness who could beat deadmau5 it would definetly be a joke)Dad's medicines cost a lot more now than they did last year but sticking to resolutions is one of the things i do and besides he is getting better.Those misguided thoughts i had last year about quiting school,going somewhere to become a dj do movies write tv scripts and a whole lot of other nonsense are all faded now thanks to a thorough and deserved dressing down by my great aunt who usually has a final say in all matters-an accepted norm in our family.Guess that means i have to sell off all those cameras and guitars i bought last year.Feels a bit sad but i still have dave who hopefully will stop being such an airhead and Egan who just like his name is in touch with himself in a foreign manner.he's nothing like anything we've ever seen before that's why we have him as a friend. EGAN- i am sure at last that i am not gay(if gay doesn't include cute babyish looking boys with innocent eyes and sincere smiles and friendly all the way).I am also pretty sure that my writing will pick up pace having been neglected so much in 2011 and i will stop looking to Dave for inspiration his disregard for rules and general dont care attitude are influences i definetly do not need now ,infact he should be looking up to me and he will once he sees how much i'll do this year.that writing job at the chronicle the novel and my own 1000 visits per day blog will all be up and running and thats a promise.Before i forget i've been trying my hand at poetry ,i'm definetly not there but well on the way I NEED THE WATER Cracked lips Sweaty armpits Sun burned forehaed And a pair of dusty feet Sweaty palms Clutching a brown envelope Half open eyes And a long way ahead The place A dry fountain A drying hedge Dusty floors And a brown black coat on his body Cracked lips Sweaty armpits Sun burned forehead And a pair of dusty feet, And a sweaty palm open and demanding No thank you ! But no thank you I can't stand your sweaty palms I just need the water And it seems like you do too.